A new year, same old shenanigans

Well 2017 was another busy year here at Cromasaig 9, with Graham making more mess and a general hash of things while the Clerk of Works wailed in despair (or just wailed) and I attempted to present an account to the world that gives the impression that some progress was being made.

Graham had his “grand unveiling” of the croft produce business at Torridon market in the summer. Eleanor took a table for her books, and Graham tagged on with half a table for his produce. A typical week’s stock amounted to something like four broccolis, four courgettes, three small beetroots, three bags of kale, three bags of spinach and three bags of salad leaves. Most of it sold, but I pointed out to Graham that his offering was pretty pathetic, that I was embarrassed to be associated with it and asked if he was planning to always hang on limpet-like to Eleanor’s coat tails.

He responded that from small seeds enormous turnips grow, to which I responded what the blazes are you talking about? He then explained that the produce business would start small this year and then get bigger over the next couple of years as they get more beds done and get things started growing earlier in the season. I then questioned why he hadn’t got more things going in time for this season – everything always seems to be “next year, next year.” Graham then responded slightly tetchily that this year he has planted almost a mile of bloomin’ hedgerows, a hundred flippin’ blueberry bushes, about sixty assorted fruit bushes, twenty three rhubarb plants and (with help from Eleanor) dug out and graded about thirteen cubic metres of bleedin’ sand, gravel and rocks to make the second blinking bed in the keder house. By hand, by blinking hand (I paraphrase all this as apparently there might be children reading).

A hundred blueberry bushes? Well, okay then.

Graham then questioned why it had taken me several months to blog about his “grand unveiling” at the Torridon market, to which I responded mind your own business.

In fact there has been a bit of progress this year. The blueberry bushes Graham planted in the spring produced a few blueberries, slightly to everyone’s surprise. Not many, but enough to give a bear a wee snifter. To be honest, next to that achievement, planting nearly a mile of hedges and riddling thirteen cubic metres of stones and sand seem pretty insignificant.

Eleanor's book business enjoyed a bit more success. At the Clerk of Works' insistence, we went to slightly fewer big events, but being more experienced now we are able to target the ones that are more worthwhile. I had particular fun at the Best of the West music festival in Inveraray, despite the slightly unorthodox sleeping arrangements after the nice (ahem) people at Kilchurn Suites threw our travelling companions out for bringing their baby.

The year ended with Graham making a mess (again) with a mini-digger, this time making outdoor beds for vegetables, tea (what?) and 400 more blueberry bushes (now that's more like it).

So here’s to more blueberries in 2018 (and some vegetables). And will someone please get that blinking website finished? Oh wait – that’s my job.