What the Blazes is a Medlar?

What the blazes is a medlar? Five trees arrived the other day (actually several weeks ago – I’m a bit behind due to internet problems) with labels on saying “Medlar – a distinctive and acquired taste,” and Graham has since planted them in the orchard. I assumed therefore that they were some kind of fruit trees, and out of curiosity I decided to do a bit of digging (of the research variety – I never stoop to getting my paws dirty unless it involves fighting badgers). The labels indicated that the trees came from a place called Victoriana Garden Nursery, so I thought that would be the place to start. On their website they describe medlars as an old variety of fruit that was popular long ago. Before you can eat the fruit you have to “blet” it, which seems to be a euphemism for letting it rot on the tree. Its alternative names are apparently “dog’s arse fruit” and “open arse fruit”. I remain sceptical.

On the other hand, some other plants came with the medlars that seemed a bit more promising. There were about fifty assorted current bushes, some gooseberries (I quite like goose), twenty three rhubarb plants (simply because that was the number of holes Graham could be bothered digging), a few raspberries, three kiwi vines for the keder house (we’ll see…) and twenty blueberry bushes which Graham has planted on the ridges he made with the minidigger which he refers to as “lazy beds” (is that because he cheated by using the digger?).

Oh, and… hang on, did I type that right? Yes I did.

(Some of) the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here the blueberries are here oh my goodness (some of) the blueberries are here.

When will they make blueberries?